martes, febrero 24, 2009

Mi amigo Alberto... en el lugar equivocado?

Hace algunos días me encontré casualmente con Alberto luego de varios años en los que le perdí la pista y en el ultimo lugar que me hubiera esperado: Studio54, uno de Bares Gay de moda últimamente en Medellín.

Mi amigo es uno de aquellos personajes que parece vivir en el lugar equivocado: a pesar de su manifiesta preferencia sexual por los de su mismo sexo, de alguna manera se las ingenia para andar rodeado de mujeres quienes le tienen como su mejor amigo, confidente y compañero.

Nada en su apariencia ni sus maneras delata afeminamiento, delicadeza o lo que comúnmente denominamos "pluma"; tampoco encaja dentro del estereotipo de belleza tan común en esta ciudad de moda y fashion: posee un vello corporal abundante y rebelde que nunca ha conocido las torturas depilatorias de la cera o la maquina de rasurar; es de una estura ligeramente inferior al promedio y carga unos cuantos kilitos de más que le reducen posibilidades en un mercado que valora los pectorales prominentes, el abdomen plano y el área genital sin un pelo.

De su afinidad con las mujeres y escasa la suerte con los hombres surgen los acontecimientos de esta historia.


***************************



Marcela y Alberto se conocieron a través de una amiga común, que era al mismo tiempo compañera de trabajo de Ella y mejor amiga de El desde los días que fueron estudiantes en la misma facultad; como ocurre siempre que dos personas se están conociendo, cada uno fijó su atención en lo que le interesaba del otro y prefirió ignorar lo que siempre se acaba lamentando cuando ya no hay mas remedio.

Marcela quedó gratamente impactada por la caballerosidad y amena conversación del sujeto; por su parte Alberto creyó conocer una mujer inteligente y segura de si misma. Ambos omitieron comentar o prefirieron no preguntar acerca de sus respectivas decepciones amorosas, sus espacios de soledad y el profundo deseo de sentirse apreciados y queridos.


De la presentación inicial a la salida habitual,
sólo fueron necesarios algunos días.


Del comentario casual a las confesiones a corazón abierto,
sólo se requirieron unas cuantas borracheras.


El cruce de miradas pícaras evolucionó a la sintonía de dos sonrisas que reflejaban el mismo pensamiento; Alberto se dejó llevar por un camino que no debería y Marcela le indujo a buscarla por donde ella deseaba.


El resolvió intentarlo por curiosidad,
y ella aceptó arriesgarse a cambio de nada.


Fue "En una "Noche de Copas (una noche loca)"
... y nunca debería haber sucedido.


***************************



Al día siguiente, con una resaca monumental Alberto se despidió sin casi mediar palabra, con un deseo enorme de llegar a su casa y olvidar el asunto... Mientras tanto Marcela ya se estaba pintando (una vez mas), la típica película de haber encontrado al hombre de su vida.

No pasó mucho tiempo para que los deseos del uno por alejarse fueran alentados por el acoso de la otra, poco a poco la intensidad se transformó en exigencia y la molestia en obsesión.

La sucesión de eventos, que incluyeron llamadas a media noche, escándalos en la vía pública, comentarios malintencionados a los amigos comunes y todas las demás barbaridades que se le pueden ocurrir a una mente enferma, fueron el pan de cada día del pobre hombre luego que se le ocurrió la estúpida idea de probar una fruta que no tenía intenciones de llevar consigo.

Yo de alguna manera la entiendo; es que no debe existir peor frustración que haber puesto sus ojos en un maricón... y con conocimiento de causa.

Luego de un tiempo, Alberto no supo mas de Marcela... supuso que se cansó de tanto show, o que probablemente apareció en su vida algún otro incauto que acaparó su atención.


***************************



Beto inició un período de ostracismo del cual no tuve una referencia muy clara hasta nuestro encuentro donde conocí todos los detalles de la historia, además de recordar viejos tiempos y actualizarnos sobre nuestras vidas y milagros.

Sin embargo, la animada tertulia fue interrumpida cuando apareció el verdadero motivo de la presencia de mi amigo en ese lugar: un muchacho de escasos 23 años, poco agraciado y bastante amanerado para mi gusto, a quien Beto me presentó como su novio.

Mi red de informantes me confirmó lo que ya sospeché desde que vi al fulano: un don nadie, bastante recorrido para su edad y con una habilidad enorme para enredar a señores maduros, solitarios y generosos.

Yo le concederé el beneficio de la duda porque todos tenemos derecho a una nueva oportunidad.

Además, la vida me ha enseñado que los consejos son contraproducentes, cada cual debe descubrir las verdades por sí mismo y el papel de los amigos es acompañar, consolar o si las circunstancias permiten... celebrar.

Esta vez quisiera equivocarme, pero sigo pensando que el pobre Beto sigue en el lugar equivocado.


54 comentarios:

Milo Gasa dijo...

Jejejej, es que ellas simplemente no entienden... por fortuna para tu amigo, la historia es una más para contar en un ambiente de bebidas alcohólicas y víboras con cara de yonofuí, por desgracia para ella, si se descuida, se le puede convertir en un sino.

Abrazote.

ana_marie dijo...

que triste no? quizás habría sido más fácil si cada uno mostrara su historial de verdades en vez de escudarse en la evasión de las cosas

Akira dijo...

Si no es equivocandose, entonces... como se aprende??

Saludos don Monchis.

Sandum dijo...

Creo que después de haber estado en el lugar equivocado, el debe sentir que ahora se encuentra en el sitio idoneo, mire que presentar a un chico de esa edad como su novio, en fin, también le concedo el beneficio de la duda... Saludos Monchis!

EL JOKER dijo...

Al margen del tema hubo una expresión que me acab de crear una imagen que, por mucho, será dificil de quitar de mi imaginación.

"Mi red de informantes..."

Dios me proteja de los alcances de tal red.

Respecto al tema del post, sabido es que no tengo mucha objetividad al momento de comentar, solo coincido con Akira... si no es embarrándola entonces cómo?

Ahora... lo del noviecito nuevo... ahi si el hombre peca de pendejo... podrá ser lo que sea, pero no he conocido el primer paisa (en general, colombiano) que se meta en semejante bollo sin saber lo que le puede esperar.

El Piloto dijo...

Pues aunque no lo creas y por lo que describes, tu amigo Alberto tendría bastante éxito conmigo, jeje. Es una pena que todavía se encuentre en el lugar equivocado.

LeO dijo...

Me gustó mucho, no suelo leer enteros post de ésta longitud (para ser sincero) pero éste está muy bien redactado y me mantuvo atento a la historia todo el tiempo, es mas, lo leí en voz alta para un amigo. Te felicito._

Thiago dijo...

Bueno, dos ejemplos pefectos de estar en el lugar equivocado pero cari, cada uno tiene que tener sus propias equivocaciones, no hay remedio.

De estas situaciones todos vamos a tener, pq no nos enseña nadie a acertar siempre. Lo malo es que con las equivocaciones propias siempre aprenden tb. algún otro, que es el que al final sufre.

Un bezo.

tnf25 dijo...

vamos que esperemos por bien de tu amigo que te equivoques a lo grande...de no ser asi, pues habra que estar al poendiente no? que para eso somos los amigos.

y mas que en defensa de quien no conozco, si no en la propia y con animo de reforzar lo de "todos podemso cambiar"

si te hablan de mi
y cuando llegas cruzan las miradas
si te hablan de mi
y te cuentan de un lunar bajo mi espalda
diles que ahora no es asi
diles que ahora no es asi
que mi vida empieza a partir de tu amor

si te hablan de mi y te cuentan que soy otro a tus espaldas
diles que ahora no es asi, que esas fueron noches
mucho antes de ti

y si te hablan de mi
defiendeme, como lo haria yo por ti
que mi pasado me sirvio para elegir
y TU eres el hombre con quien yo quiero vivir...

Stanley Kowalski dijo...

Gracias por el generoso comentario que me dejaste, sos muy amable y cordial.


BESOS

Potter dijo...

Señor Monchis...

Que agradable es leerle. Y nuevamente una Genialidad irrefutable.
Coincido con el Sr. Joker, quien argumenta categoricamente que "su Red de Informantes" es intimidante pero a la vez digno del Status de Divo consagrado el cual le otorgo desde este momento y en voz alta!

Bravo... Reverencias y a la espera de mas!

Quike dijo...

Pues... tu amigo beto necesita urgente unas clasecitas de sensatez ya que parece que Davivienda la ha tomado con él. Posiblidad uno saquenlo a dar una vueltica que algunas de esas cosas se aprenden yendo mas seguido a discotabernsaunaputeaderovario como dice el señor Joker. Posibilidad dos dejarlo irse de jet... contra el planeta y estar raudos a consololarlo cuando llegue con las narices moradas y las rodillas peladas.
Posibilidad tres metanlo de cartujo en el monasterio de monte Athos y encarguenselo al señor Abado como caso de amnesia selectiva.

Un abrazo

Quike

Stanley Kowalski dijo...

Existe, lo digo porque no es el primer caso que conozco, una cierta moda, llamesmolo así, de las mujeres que quieren tranformar hombres homosexuales en heterosexuales. Cuál es el motivo, será una cuenta pendiente con la vida, creerán que si lo logran, podrán demostrar a la sociedad que la homosexualidad se puede curar? Aún no logro entenderlo, y a Alberto lo único que me imagino que lo llevó a esa relación puede habers sido la soledad, que, obviamente es mala consejera. Le deseo lo mejor para esta nueva relación.

Gracias por tus felicitaciones.

BESOS

Monchis dijo...

Monchis Comenta:

Milo: Yo nunca he sido aficionado a la compañía de las féminas y desconfío especialente de aquellas que gustan de la compañía de hombres Gays... esas definitivamente son las que están en un lugar equivocado.

Ana-marie: Bienvenida a este espacio que no es muy frecuentado por mujeres; planteas una sugerencia interesante... sin embargo debemos entender que el ejercicio de la conquista no se establece sobre "las actitudes deseables", sino mas bien sobre "El objeto deseado"... además quién dijo que lo mas fácil es decir todo el historial de verdades al inicio de una relación?... (eso no lo hace uno ni con sus mejores amigos).

Akira: concuerdo con tu punto de vista; solo metiendo la pata sabe uno lo que no le conviene... pero también es cierto que el enamorado no oye, ni ve, ni entiende... y sus amigos les toca contemplar impotentes desde la barrera como se arroja al abismo.

Sandum: No necesariamente salir de un problema es la solución; a veces nos metemos en otro peor... en Colombia tenemos un refrán para describir esa situación: "Salió de la sartén y cayó al fuego."

Joker: Sepa y entienda que mi "Red de informantes", tiene largos tentáculos... así que mejor se cuida de andar por ahí mal parqueado (con su marlene).

Piloto: Mencionas una de las grandes paradojas del amor... la persona que seguramente nos haría caso, la vida la pone fuera de nuestro alcance... que misterio!!!

Leo : Bienvenido, yo tampoco soy afecto de los post largos; sin embargo a veces la historia lo amerita.

Thiago: Le das un nuevo giro a la historia con tu comentario... es posible que alguien llore en silencio al lado de Alberto y el ni siguiera se ha enterado.

Tnf25: Gracias por el poema; yo también le concedo al novicecito de Alberto al menos por ahora el beneficio de la duda... sin embargo también afirmo que las mayores ilusiones generalmente se transforman en los mas estruendosos fracasos.

Stanley: Afortunadamente la sociedad ha avanzado y son cada vez mas escasas las mujeres que pretenden "curarnos", no es tan dificil resignarse a que somos un como caso perdido... sin embargo la fascinación y curiosidad de algunas se mantiene.

Potter: Un consejo muy útil para establecer tu red de informantes es mantener cerca las enemigas de tus enemigas; adicionalmente algo que nunca falla es ganar los favores de sus EX.

Quike: Hay personas que tienen predisposición genética para enredarse con quien no les conviene... y eso no cambiará a pesar que adquieran mucho recorrido o se enclaustren un un convento.

SE LES QUIERE!!!

Gustavo Puntila dijo...

Uuuu que buen relato, me gustó mucho querido Sr. Monchis... Eso de estar en el lugar equivocado, es de lo más común, no he sido ajeno a la situación. Y pues ahora me rio, y pues ahora pienso que dejar que las cosas se den y pues ahora pienso que la vida es corta...

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